Here are my presuppositions for this article :
I believe our suffering (and the world’s suffering) comes mostly from what is called cognitive dissonance.
We do not see things as they are. We see things through the filter of our own belief system.
We do not see things that are against our beliefs, or we twist them to make them fit into our belief system.
Things that confirm our beliefs, we see and strengthen.
Right from the beginning, the signs showing who Ghose (Sri Chinmoy) really was were there.
To become a disciple was to take Ghose's belief system as our own.
We decided to twist reality to make it fit our beliefs.
I’m still amazed at how we could take some of the crazy things Ghose was doing as a sign of his greatness.
Despite being a very extreme experience, it is not that unique.
People become friends with someone only to later discover that the other person is quite toxic.
People discover after years of a romantic relationship that the other has a double life.
Is there any life without this kind of experience, even at a much milder level ?
We disciples, at least those who left and who did the deprogramming work, got a unique opportunity of seeing how far the cognitive dissonance can lead us.
It is surely very confusing and very painful once we realize how much we have been fooling ourselves.
But there is so much to learn.
In my opinion, to get the full extent of this experience, one has to totally challenge one's own belief system.
To challenge everything Ghose taught us.
To challenge everything we think we know about spirituality.
I like to believe that being spiritually advanced is to be aware of how much people, including ourselves, twist reality.
In this sense, the Chinmoy experience was a great opportunity, maybe the greatest we can have as a seeker.
I see people around who had a much more common life experience and I don’t feel I missed something or my life was less interesting.
I am grateful to life for my Chimnoy experience.
That does not make him less of a perverted bastard.
PS : I want to add that I’m talking in general about making the experience of cognitive dissonance.
Of course, I do not consider being abused by Ghose as a great experience.