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Sunday, 1 February 2015

How I joined Chinmoy's path.

K :
Why do you think you were drawn to this path ? Was it the meditation, or the guru ?

Guillaume :
It all came very naturally as I was moving slowly but surely in my downfall towards disconnection from the world. After finishing business school, I moved to Paris. I did a few months of military service as secretary to a general at a state department. Then I had to start looking for a job related to my business school training. But my heart was not there. At this time, I was seeing less and less people and cutting myself off from my friends. I was not inspired to do anything. Life had no meaning.
I was just going to dance most of the night three nights a week at the very famous gay club "Queen" on the famous Parisian avenue Les Champs Elysees.
This was in 1994. Three years before that, after having betrayed my girlfriend with a guy and finally done the gay coming out I had been avoiding as far as I can remember, I started psychoanalysis in Lille. I was a bit sad I had to give it up when I moved back to Paris. Then my focus of interest moved rather towards spirituality. My first spiritual experiences were with the plants I had in my appartment. I did not have green fingers and my plants were not doing well. I probably read somewhere that you have to send love to your plants. I did it. And God, they started growing so much and becoming so beautiful. One day, I picked up this book I was reading bit by bit for three months. It was the book 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' by Sogyal Rimpoche. There is a chapter about the Master. I read it and thought : 'A Master, this is what I am looking for'. I already had for a few weeks the idea of starting to meditate. I came across a poster for a meditation week, wrote down the address and the time. I spent the sunday night dancing in Queen. I woke up at 12 on Monday, thinking about going to the meditation class that was at 1.00, but it seemed to me there was no way I could be there on time. Arrived there right on time. Haridas was giving the class. It was kind of a revelation. It was a meditation week, so there was a few classes every day. The second day, at night, it was already my fourth class, and I bought a book by Sri Chinmoy. There was a little photo of him on the back. I meditated on the photo. Suddenly, I got a very strong spiritual experience: Chinmoy recognising me and me recognising him. A few days later I applied to become his disciple. So it was definitely the guru that drew me to this path.

1 comment:

  1. Ahaha: it was your own wish! I was looking for a spiritual father figure and was impressed by the features of power, creativity. Also loved sports and the singing.

    Funny you mention Haridas: i was looking for his name as i am writing a chapter about Chinmoy too in my own book of my life and an article about Guru's. I was a disciple for 4 years and it just bleeded to death, so leaving was not so difficult.

    I did go for the path, especially in organising Peace Run ’95. Yes it was exhausting! Then i went to Switserland for a year, working @ “The Secret of Perfection Flames”. First time i visited New York (of 3 in a row) was in 1994, when this Haridas was on stage with his disobedience-songs performance. You probably were there singing it along soulfully too! Back then i liked the concept, i was quite fanatical… Now i became my own guru. For nobody else can take responsibility for your life, that was a ‘spiritual’ lie from Chinmoy. However i do think he started out sincerily. He stated that The Supreme was always trancending itself. Well he didn’t apply that to his philosophy, that remained the same. Making trancendence not much more than a simple record race… Probably he believed he was helping the victims, or that The Supreme was only having an experience through him…

    Back then i ignored signs which didn’t fit: for instance that this Ranjana woman was always winning the sportday. Simply by refusing younger people to participate… I was far away from inner rings and in the end that was one thing that annoyed me, this distance. And he took credit for everything instead of confirming that almost all was a joint production. Actually disciples did so much for him. But asking for some normal acknowledgement was only ego-speaking in this twisted part of his philosophy. Only to outside people he did that a lot, writing songs for them and so. To grow his reach. Now i do think that playing guru is the ultimate egotrip…
    Just forget about it…

    THANKS for this important blog! Printed out the confessions, serious shit. But it does make sense: for his philosophy about sex, about making love sucks. It is in line with the old religious repression and therefore appeals, it resonates with that... So it doesn’t surprise me to read about how he did it, the way he did it (mechanically and so).

    Also i understand that disciples refuse to belive he did this shit. It would destroy their faith. For me i gained from following his path for some time. Then it became exhausting and finally it was making me unhappy. So leaving was the only wise option. In the end you ALWAYS have to go the only right path = your own way!