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Sunday, 1 February 2015

Am I still meditating ?

K :
Do you still meditate now at specific times, or do you feel that all your waking moments are acts of meditation ?

Guillaume :
Since I left almost six years ago, I have been meditating silently very little. I got a strong feeling this kind of meditation is bad for me. Except sometimes for a few weeks I did not have again the kind of meditative discipline I had in the Centre. Meditation is within me. I can get a feeling of divine love or joy at any moment if I focus on my heart. The experience of being is there. I can connect to it at any time.
My main issue and focus since I left the Centre is on being present in the world. It has always been my issue. I think I was already doing some kind of meditation and experimenting with being already when I was a kid. But this kind of meditation has not solved any of my problems. It has helped me to escape and feel ok even when the pain of being in the world was too intense. So it is there and if it was not, I would probably go to look for it. I am happy I got this from my Centre experience but I don't feel the solution for me is in meditation.
So I don't meditate at specific times, but I would connect with the inside if I have to take a decision. I would connect with my body if I am not feeling well. And if I do healing work, either formal in a session or in an informal talk, I would naturally get connected right away.
Oh and no, not at all, do I feel that all my waking moments are acts of meditation.
Somehow this is quite an embarrassing question for me. Meditation is a very big part of my life, but I am not looking for it. I think it's one of my issues, being so aware that I exist far beyond the earthly reality. I still have trouble dealing with day to day life and being present to what's happening outside rather than to what's happening inside.

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